Being Proactive!

okay, so i'll have to admit that i've been feeling somewhat sorry for myself these past few weeks. but it was only a matter of time before i started feeling this way. being irritated for being laid off the week before Christmas was normal, then i transitioned into the carefree mood & actually enjoyed not working daily. then, the more i searched for work, the more i became frustrated with the 'slackers' who have work & do a half-ass job, i.e. technical support, customer service, maintenance 'technicians' (as they like to be called these days). then, after weeks of looking for employment to no avail as of yet, i became discouraged to the point where i moved to just feeling sorry for myself. this is no place to be & it is certainly no place to stay!
while i haven't let go of being frustrated with the half-assers, i have moved on from feeling sorry for myself...simply because it is a miserable feeling & one that i'd rather not have. what's so bad about feeling sorry for yourself is that it is too much like quicksand (one of my dreaded fears). before you know it, you get stuck & look down to see that it has sucked you in and you keep sinking deeper & deeper. the more you struggle, the deeper it takes you. grabbing you more & more every second of the day. when i woke up, which was hard enough on it's own, it started pulling me down & didn't stop until i finally went to sleep at night-with some help from my buddies at pfizer & their wonderful prescriptions! it pulls you down so quickly that you don't realize you've wasted an entire day feeling sorry for yourself because you've spent all day on the couch watching the worthless shows on tv. you know the ones that come on during the middle of the day that are tailored to the elderly who don't leave the house because they physically can't!
i began noticing that when i felt sorry for myself, i was actually avoiding others-people i really like & who bring me joy! people who love me with or without a job and i was depriving myself of them...why?! the only answer i have is because i didn't feel good about myself, & i didn't want anyone else to feel the same about me. i was so down in the dumps that no matter what i did those negative feelings came through. i didn't want to pull others down with me (it's not their fault i don't have a job) & no one wants to hang out with a debby downer, moreless BE one! really, who wants to hire a negative nancy? and not only that, but i'm NOT naturally negative. i'm really not & i don't even like being around negatives-they bring me down, & i couldn't let myself become someone i didn't even like-then i would end up in a worse situation than i was in! i finally decided that it was time for me to move on & do something with myself, job or no job, i had to start feeling better about myself or i wasn't going to get any better. i was ready for my outlook to return to its naturally rosy self & i wanted the humor back in my life. although my babe is always making me laugh, he wasn't that funny to me anymore-& he's always funny!
so, i started brainstorming on what i could do that i enjoy that i'm good at, and i couldn't produce any results. i even considered starting my own business-to insure job stability along with other benefits-but couldn't decide what it was i wanted to do & own/manage for the rest of my life. and one night, valentine's to be exact, i couldn't go to sleep. i tossed & turned the entire night until i finally decided to pray myself to sleep. (this is a great technique by the way for those of you who find it hard to fall asleep-it's very comforting & you'll be surprised at who and what you can find to pray for!) and it hit me like a bolt of lightning...during my prayer i was interrupted (how rude, i know) but it was God who interrupted me-i've never had this happen to me before, but God actually spoke to me, minus the audible words & whatnot. it was as if He put his hand on my shoulder & simply said, 'stop worrying. don't you know i've got you covered'. He told me what i needed to do & it sounded wonderful & great, but of course, like all humans, i was reluctant & hesitated to act. that sunday at church, the sermon was on having faith that God was going to take care of you because He always had & promised to always will. He has a plan for you & your life & it is your job in your faith to follow His will.
it's funny how well God knows me. he knows me better than anyone else, including me! for the life of me i couldn't come to a decision on what kind of work i'd love to do for the rest of my life or what kind of business i'd like to own, yet he did! and he is always right! it was right in front of my face but i couldn't see it until he pointed it out to me, and i'm so glad i finally listened!
i have officially started and opened Claussen by Appointment, which epitomizes what has always been my passion! the business of the business is to work closely with others (men & women alike) to determine their style & spend some time in their own closet demonstrating to them how they can take full advantage of their existing wardrobe. to me, it's ingenious! i've always been frugal-i get some sort of high from it- & especially in the current economy, what better way to really help someone than by showing them they have a fresh look awaiting them in their own closet & there is no need to go shopping on more clothes when you can make use of the ones you've already spent money on! i've always loved fashion & style & helping others--so it's really a great way to combine my talents to make some income! within my first week of operating, i've already got my first customer, and am faithfully praying & awaiting many more to come! i've even got my own website, you should check it out! http://www.claussenbyappt.com/
it's amazing how quickly you can become submerged in your own self pity. and how easily discouragement can suck you in like a black hole & keep you down. but i had to decide to do something proactive with myself or i was going to be stuck in the world of misery for who knows how long! i am happier now than i've been in a long time, maybe even before i was laid off, mainly because i'm being proactive with my spare time rather than wasting it, but i'm excited i get to actually do something i love & am passionate about while helping others, some of who might be facing the same uphill battle as i once was.