you tell me...

how they should be worn

unfortunately, how they are worn

well, we meet again old friend. when i started this blog over 2 years ago, it was for myself-not for my 3 loyal 'followers' or anyone else, just for me. and now it's been over 2 years since i've posted anything and it isn't due to the lack of anything to write about, no, not at all. in fact, i have more i want to write about now than ever. as embarrassing as it is, it's simply because i forgot that i even had a blog as a vent outlet until today. so much time has passed since i last wrote, and there is so much to choose from to write about, but i'm going to begin with the most obvious constant reminder that i'm confused; am i really getting older? or are kids getting more stupid?

working at a university where my boss is 3 days younger than myself, i am constantly reminded that i'm getting older and also that i could never live through my college years again (at least not the same way i previously took up space and residency for 4 years). although the list of things i didn't do in college would be shorter than the list of things i did, i've never been guilty of such an atrocious act as the college guys are responsible for today.

first, to the designers who created the appalling skinny jeans for men (i guess that's what you call the male bipeds who wear these things), what in God's namel were you thinking?! did you honestly look at the finished product and say to yourself-hopefully no one else heard you if you did-'that they were good, perfect, finished'? or was your purpose solely to obliterate the pride of any 'man' (and i use that term very loosely) who chose to try them on? maybe you intended to begin a trend, and if that's the case, you have succeeded. well done. i call this trend horrendous. designers, if you're still alive in a few weeks, months, years, hopefully one day you'll look back and agree-what you've done is nothing less than dreadful. but enough about you, you're just doing your job...as sad as that may be.

now, on to the boys who chose to try these awful skinny jeans on...were you alone in a dark room at the time? do you not own a mirror? walk by any glass doors at all? you certainly don't have any friends. that's a fact. do your parents not love you? or do you change when they leave so you won't embarrass them and bring shame upon your family's name? if i voluntarily put myself into those, as a guy, i wouldn't be able to look my family in the eye wearing those ridiculously obscene things on my body. but then again, i'm not a young, hip, camp counselor wanna-be dude who thinks he looks cool in the latest fashion...which FYI, were originally intended for women. you do know that, don't you?!

so what's it going to be next boys? i'm going to have to wait on you in the dressing room while you try on bras? how about the lingerie section of walmart getting yourself sized for the perfect teddy to go with those skinny jeans? there's no limit now. you've really done it this time. you've completely demolished all that was left of your manliness. just know that you've been warned. don't ever expect anyone to take you seriously while wearing those skinny jeans, especially if you've been lucky enough to find that perfect strappy tank and bright colored bra to wear with them. welcome to the feminine world guys. and congratulations. you've successfully reached across the aisle to make this a unisex nation. as for the designers and stylists, i'm sure they appreciate the fact you've made their job twice as easy by having to create half the clothes.