the big sexy...

A physically disabled duck. A retarded seal with no rear fin. A mariachi band. A rendition of will ferrell's audition for saturday night live. A prank contact card listed in my old-school Rolodex file. Singing 'baby making songs' while rolling around the office in his chair. Lying on the floor in a 'greek god' pose while dropping craisins in his mouth. Revealing one of his newest dance moves, or dances for that matter. These are just some of the surprises i encounter on a daily basis, compliments of my truly delightful coworker. Without whom, i would no doubt quit my job.

Not only is his imagination constantly at work, but he himself never leaves. He's always at the office when i walk in & stays long after i leave. Yet, he never seems to be in a bad mood. I, on the other hand, usually stroll in late and try to leave as early as possible on a daily basis. And there's no telling what's happened with me in between those hours to get myself in a bad mood--it's not like i do it on purpose, but it definitely sometimes happens. But not for him-I have yet to find what triggers his bad mood in a year and a half. He truly loves his job, and if he doesn't, he does a great job of making everyone believe he does. It's amazing to me. But he doesn't mind working 60 plus hours a week. Even when he's not required to be here, he's here.

He uses his creativity skills to make everyone around him laugh. If i happen to be in a bad mood, or down at all, he'll stop what he's doing (and it's usually important) to pick me up and make me feel better. He'll take out his one ear bud, push his chair over to my desk, and start singing or dancing. The 'bernie' is his most recent favorite dance, where he just hangs dead weight and shakes like someone's pulling his puppet strings. Or he'll tell me a fabrication that makes me laugh until my sides ache. And it's amazing how he makes this stuff up. He told me that on the west coast, the sun winks, flaps it's hand with a quick queer wave, and shows everyone it's lone earring just before setting. That was straight off the cuff! Who can think of this stuff? And who has the time? He tells me it's because he is an only child and had to constantly entertain himself growing up.

And he loves women, which is his sole inspiration for his 'baby making' music he plays. Wants his honeymoon in Disney World, which he's been planning his whole life. And will not settle for a woman who doesn't love Disney World or children because he's serious about carrying on his family name.

The combination of his preacher father and casino managing mother is unmatched. His wit and flamboyant attitude are unparalleled. His patience is unreal, especially when it comes to pranks. Everyone knows who's responsible for my uncontrollable laughter when i randomly find Romeo Horsecock's toll free number in my flip card Rolodex. He's finally satisfied after setting up that prank months before. He is...One of my favorite people...Responsible for me still having a job...Quality...Top notch...Magnificent.