wrong way...

since i was on the topic, i decided to go on to the next selective group of punks who irritate me on a daily basis and leave me questioning their sexuality. skateboarders. and no, i'm not talking about the cool ones who can do tricks. no tony hawks. you wish. no rob dyrdek here. no. i'm talking about the freakin' young guns who are practicing standing on the board while it's in motion. to be clear, we're focusing solely on the hip dudes who practice riding the board. what bothers me about them? their timing and location. plain and simple. we're talking about practice here (insert voice of allen iverson here, or more recently, the beloved charlie sheen when referring to his 'hit' sitcom 2 1/2 men). these board lovers choose to practice, again, keep that word in mind--very important for this posting, in the middle of the road. while i'm trying to get to work, home, to and from my office, and/or my car. basically anywhere that involves me being on the campus of the university i work.

they choose to practice this technique of boarding in front of my office. in my view. just past my laptop. on a daily basis. the highlight of my day is when one of them busts on the concrete. i can feel the sneaky sinister smile starting to emerge when this happens. i'm secretly hoping it'll knock some sense into them. but alas.

not only does the practicing irritate me, but these hipsters bring it full circle because of their choice of clothing. yep. you guessed it. it's these guys who are usually the ones wearing the freakin' skinny jeans. if you need an update, see previous post. i guess the skinny jeans are better for boarding, especially for those who are practicing so they won't have baggy pants in the way of the board's wheels-just something else to trip on i guess. but it begs the question ...how do you expect to board at all when your junk is being strangled by your pants?

hobbies are good. and practice is key to success. however, practice should be reserved for the 'elite' few who are privileged enough to hang with you board guy. your board buddies are the only ones who should be present during this period. not passers by. not campus visitors. not staff as they're trying to work. not the bus drivers. not me while i'm trying to get to my car or office. people should have to willingly and knowingly choose to watch you practice by going to the park or some other designated area that's fenced off just for you board guy. and fyi, the parking lot full of cars that you're inevitably going to hit when you fall is not a good place for practice. nor the road with cars going both ways. no. those cars are driven by adults who have licenses. that usually means they have some sense. and 'sense' here doesn't necessarily involve planning to slam on brakes because you decide to use the crosswalk for your practice board guy. or even when you accidentally fall into the street after falling off your board. 'sense' here awards us the desire to speed up in hopes of clipping one of your limbs. we'd be doing you a favor. your board buddies too. they'd learn the crosswalks, sidewalks, parking lots, and two way roads aren't such a good place for practice.

it's one thing to want to learn something new. but until you've mastered the art of balancing on your board, it's in your best interest to stay away from traffic, crowds of people, and large windows. i wish you the best. honest. i hope you can find an enclosed area for practice. i don't like the feeling i get when i see you fall in the street. the surge of adrenaline it sends through my body, making my foot want to slam on my gas pedal, or the irresistible urge i get to use my horn at you. the uncontrollable laughter when your board is flying over your head is somewhat sinister and has to come from a dark place. it can't be good for me. it would do us all good for you to find a place of your own for practice. chances are, the place you got those freakin' skinny jeans could direct you in the right direction. once you've graduated to the grinding, half pipe, ollie, or any board trick for that matter, you may be pleasantly surprised at how many people come to you. until then, keep your practice to yourself. or at least away from my car.